Showing up a bit out of nowhere because I figured it is time to break the silence, LOL. So, I am back. I am happy to be here, and I hope your arms are wide open to take me back.

Today is Ash Wednesday. Sometime ago, I sent out a love letter on Ash Wednesday, that letter is evergreen, so for what it is worth, I am linking it again. Take a look at it for the sake of remembering. Moving on, I want to talk about something else, and I hope the love letter’s title already gave it away.

I listened to Theophilus Sunday say something that struck me very deeply and has stayed with me. He said that the deepest place in the world is not the Ocean, it is the heart of a man. That’s a fact I didn’t realize till I heard him say it, unfortunately. The heart is very, very deep. Even if you consider yourself to be a good person, if you ever self-examine truly and search your heart, you may see deep within the recesses of your soul a great capacity for evil. It is not because of anything we may have done, although this may contribute to it. At the heart of it all, the heart can harbour evil even in the best individuals because of our fallen state.

Man fell, and with man’s fall came several consequences, including the capacity of our hearts to harbour vileness. I was forced to confront this bitter truth recently when I heard of some of the atrocities of this high-profile American, Jeffrey Epstein. He was accused of very horrendous things, and even if only a fraction of those accusations are true, then truly we cannot fathom how evil a man can be.

In light of this reality, what is the solution for you and for me, who hopefully want to live a decent life and be decent human beings?

The first thing is to never take for granted the fact that you can be evil too. Never see evil in the world and think you can never. Only look at evil and recognise truly how it is God’s grace that keeps us aright.

The second thing is to offer your heart to God. Every single day, we must rise with the consciousness that it is only God who can cleanse us and help our hearts. It is only He who can search our hearts and take away everything and anything unwholesome. So we must give God our hearts.

This is how we live, and this is how we overcome and rid ourselves of evil.

Quote 1

May I never get over the fact that God saved a wretched sinner like me. May I never get over the fact that He allowed me to see another day. May I never get over the fact that He's patient with me, that He's longsuffering with me, and that in me dwells nothing that can satisfy Him. May I never get over being broken over my sin. May I never become complacent. May I never stop realizing the incredible distance between me and my Jesus because that's the only way I appreciate the distance He travelled to make me His child. -Voddie Bauchman Jnr.

Quote 2

The justice of God is very just.

Bible Verse

I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings- Jeremiah 17:10

Talk soon!

With Utmost Love and Care,

Naza.

I didn’t know I would send a mail out today, till a few minutes to midnight, when I picked up my laptop spontaneously and right now, I am in your inbox.

The message in the subject line is the message for today. If you read only the subject line, I believe I have conveyed a clear message, but to elaborate, I would like to add a few points.

It is critical to have good opinions and beliefs, and figure out your belief system early enough. Sometimes, you will not have the right beliefs; it’s normal, so keep an open mind. However, while you keep an open mind, remember to protect your mental space. You will meet people who will try to forcefully make you believe what they believe, sometimes not because it is right but because of their own lived experiences or traumas. When this happens, remember to protect your own beliefs.

Don’t let your mind become a dumping ground for people’s traumas and hurts. Don’t let people project their negativity on you. Most times, the things people are sharing with you as “facts” or “truths” will turn out not to be as they say, but in honesty, it is just their own experience. Remember that.

This is the thought for today. Think about it deeply, and if you have any feedback, write your thoughts back to me, please.

Bible Verse

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.- Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)

Quote 1

You cannot repeat the past. - The Great Gatsby.

Quote 2

Attention is vitality- Susan Sotang

Till next time,

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

I am so happy to be writing to you again. The last time I remember sending a Love Letter was sometime in August, and from then till now, it’s been more than a month. The thing about not sending out my weekly love letter is that the more I don’t send them, the easier it becomes not to send them. Today, I decided to break the cycle of unsent love letters, and so, here I am in your mailbox today.

In our highly digitalised and social media-steeped world, overstimulation is a real thing. I read about this in my Jordan Raynor devotional sometime, and at first, I didn’t fully grasp the concept, but I do now. If you constantly expose yourself to the news, social media, and all the noise flying around, you will be so stimulated and stuffed with many things you don’t need. You will take ideas from the wrong places and have the voice of the world drowning out your own voice, and most importantly, the voice of the Holy Spirit within you.

You need to take a step back often.

Turn everything off. Reintroduce yourself to silence and stillness. I did this recently because, for me, Instagram was saturating my mind a lot. I loved the content I consumed on Instagram, typically Instagram Shorts of preachings, inspirational quotes, and the like, but even these good things can be consumed too much. I found it so easy to open Instagram and keep consuming and consuming, found it hard to take a step back and just think for myself, read or do other things outside of consuming social media. I realised I needed to change something, and so I logged myself out of the app for a while. The less I consumed social media, the less stimulated and in hindsight I no beyond a shadow of doubt that I made a good decision.

So, this is what I am saying today, social media is good, but in our digitalised world of today, if we are not careful, we will be drowning in information and so many things we do not need. This will definitely go on to affect the quality of our lives in the long run, so as much as possible, take some time to switch off.

Bible Verse

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counsellors, there is safety. Proverbs 11:14

Quote 1

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.” - Enchiridion

Quote 2

Embarassment is the cost of entry. If you aren’t willing to look like a foolish beginner, you’ll never become a graceful master. -Ed Latimore

Till next Friday,

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku.

If you are reading this, then you have reached the beginning of the 7th month of 2025.

I heard someone say recently that 2025 has been a fast-paced year, racing to the end. I agree to some extent because I think we have had more fast months than slow months this year. Most times, you wake up by 5/6 am or whatever time you wake up, and before you blink, it is noon. Whatever the case may be, we keep pushing forward.

I wish you a warm and fruitful Month ahead! August feels like it is going to be a busy month for me, but I am going to make sure to rest in between all the many things I have to do. I signed up to run a Marathon, which I feel completely unprepared for. I have a conference and a wedding to attend. I haven't written down my goals for the month yet, but I am going to do that as soon as I get home. Better late than never. Let’s see what committing to achieving set things in a month looks like. August should also be a fasting and prayer month for me because July wasn’t all of that, and I would like to blame the cold weather, which, on most days, has been a threat to my prayer life. So the warmth I can’t get from the non-existent sun, let me get from the fire from my prayer altar (wink, wink). Maybe I will commit to writing more this month, academically and then personally, or maybe not, because it feels like I break that commitment the moment I commit to it. Anyway, I have to take a bet on myself and commit yet again, so let’s see how that goes.

If you had to commit yourself to anything in the latter half of this year, I would say, commit to pruning yourself. I know we all like to think that having good home training is all that is required in being a good person, but on most days, I find that is not the case. Human beings are like gardens. You have to spend just as much time taking out the weeds as you spend carefully planting flowers. If you don’t do that, you would have a garden with beautiful flowers, nearly overrun by weeds.

May August be a month of fervency, clarity, and answered prayers, for you and me!

Bible Verse

I have found My servant David (insert your name); With My holy oil I have anointed him. -Psalm 89:20.

Quote 1

There are no artists, athletes, entrepreneurs, or scientists who became great by half-finished their work. Stop debating what you should make and just make something- Unknown.

Qutoes 2

Let me fall if I must fall. The one I will become will catch me. -Unknown.

Till Next Time.

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku.

Heyyyy There! Hope you are having a fantabulous Friday Morning!

I am so excited to be in your inbox today!

Today I am just here to remind you of something simple “Delay is not denial, or as I often like to tease, Delilah”.

This is one phrase that has been ringing in my head over the last month.

I think this is because I suffered a little setback of my own, and the Holy Spirit has breathed upon these words as a source of encouragement in this time. It also happens to be call to bar season, and I have had to think of this phrase again, seeing pictures of some of my mates who are just getting called to the bar. These are people who for one or the other, couldn’t get called to the bar with their mates, but as at this week, they have worn their wig and gown and today, just like me and every other person who got called before them, they are Barristers and Solictors of the Supreme Court of Nigeria.

What are the delays you are currently facing in your life? Delays in your dreams and the plans you made for yourself? Maybe you even made plans with some of your friends and they have gone far ahead, leaving you behind and discouraged. Safe to say I am writing this letter today just for you, to leave you with these words that I have been ruminating over this past few weeks: delay is not denial. It will happen, and even if it happens a little later than you planned, your joy will be complete, nothing missing, nothing broken.

There is this story of the Chinese Bamboo, that is a testament of the fact that delay is not denial. This inspirational tree in the first four years of being planted shows no sign of visible growth. In the first four years, all it does is grow its roots downwards and in the fifth year it grows 80 feet in six weeks. The natural delay in the growth pattern of this tree is certainly not denial, and we are reminded of this when it shoots out marvellously from the earth in its sixth year. It is remarkable! So many beautiful lessons in nature we can learn if we pay attention.

Dear Naza, I write this for you too, amidst grappling with your own setback and uncertainities, remember that delay is not denial, it will happen, maybe a little later, but surely. And your joy will be complete, nothing missing, nothing broken.

Bible Verse

So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy.- Romans 9:16

Quote 1

Never burn a bridge you might need to cross again, or one that leads to a view you haven’t seen yet. Keep those connections warm because life has a funny way of bringing people back into your life- Temilade Salami

Quote 2

Your lack of urgency is destorying your potential. - Hampton on X.

Talk soon!

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku.

I have loved kids for as long as I can remember, maybe because I never had a junior sibling. So, I am always overwhelmed by chubby, cute babies. At some point in my life, I thought I would give birth to 13 kids! I actually sat down and conceived that idea. Thank God for growth and common sense. It is safe to say now that I have seen the light.

Society teaches us that after you grow up, either as a man or a woman, the next thing is to get married, and what comes after is giving birth to children. This is the wiring of society. It is not entirely wrong because we need to keep humanity running, and we can’t do so if we don’t procreate. However, it is not entirely right either. As an adult, I have looked around and have reached the inevitable conclusion that many people who had children who ended up being a menace to society should not have had them. Also, many people who have children right now and are currently failing in their responsibilities as parents should not have had children either.

I know that the bible says to be fruitful, but I sincerely know that giving birth is not the only way to be fruitful. Having children is a lot, and there is more to having children than just taking care of them materially. Children need to be nurtured, they need to be taught the right values, and they need to be socialised in such a way that they do not become a problem to society. So today’s newsletter is for soul searching. As you grow up into adulthood, I know everyone is expecting you to bring your wedding invitation soon, and afterwards, your parents will start looking forward to their grandchildren, but do you actually have what it takes to raise children right? It is a question for self-evaluation. Perhaps you fall within the class that genuinely do not want to have children, it is possible to find someone like you, and together you both will dedicate your lives to that pursuit God has for you.

In closing, let’s not bring children into the world whom we cannot train properly and then add to the world’s problem, and if you eventually decide to have children, may God give you the wisdom to raise them right.

Bible Verse

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it- Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

Quote 1

Dear 20’s don’t get caught envying someone else’s harvest when you should be focused on planting your seeds of effort- Temilade Salami

Quote 2

Everything worth doing is a ten or more year project. Your company, your career, your marriage, your deepest and best friendships. Don’t think that one moment is make or break or that one setback is final. Nothing is final. Most games in life can be played over and over again until you die. Which means that no win is ever permanent, and no loss ever fatal.- Anonymous.

Till Next Friday,

Keep Showing Up!

The thing about going away for a while is that at first you think you’ve been gone for a day, and before you know it, you blink and it’s been weeks.

That is exactly my story. The first week I didn’t write my Newsletter, I said okay, it is just this Friday, I can live with that, but then I blinked, and then it has been more than two weeks since I last wrote. So I decided to pick up my slack by sending a love letter today.

This June, in the church I attend alongside my family church, we have been learning about Metronome: Divine Leading, and it’s been a timely teaching series for me. During this teaching series, I have also had to check in on myself and ask myself some questions. But one thing I have taken away from the series is what is contained in the subject line of today’s newsletter: God See, God Hears, God knows.

Do you know that for the Jews, there is no such thing as coincidence? I mean that the word coincidence, does not exist in the Jewish Lexicon, because they don’t believe in it. According to their socialisation, everything that happens in the life of a person is part of the Divine Plan for that person’s life, the good things and the not-so-good. This idea has been so stirring for me because it has made me look back on my life and think about some of the twists that have occurred, and begin to see them in a new light: it’s all part of God’s plan.

What if you knew that all things worked out in the end for your good, even your mistakes and your failures? How will you live your life going forward? I don’t know about you, but for me, it will make me trust God more, and it will also mean that I will not be so weighed down when things don’t go my way.

Mind you, this doesn’t mean that God orchestrates bad things. God is good, and only good can come from him. This just means that God can work with everything, and not only that, but work with everything so that good comes out of it for you!

Bible Verse

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.- Romans 8:28 NLT

Quote 1

I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.- Thomas Edison

Quote 2

Matching energy will have you mirroring demons- Jolene Carmella

I will be seeing you around!

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

Fighting Temptations, Fleeing Temptations.

I hope this love letter finds you well and that you have had a great week!

I read my first fiction in a while on Tuesday. Interestingly, I started reading this book in the Afternoon when I had some free time at work, and by night, I was done. This book was about 300 pages. I don’t consider myself to be a fast reader; I think I can easily get bored and distracted (things I am working on), but the plot of this story was so good, and so it had me hooked. The main character in this book made some mistakes, and the whole plot revolved around her guarding a great secret before she couldn’t guard it anymore, and the truth had to be told.

After reading this book, I had just one great takeaway: fighting temptation is always a bad idea. If you can’t swim, it's safer to stay away from the pool than to get in and then start striving not to drown. When Joseph was faced with Potiphar’s wife, he didn’t sit cosy on her couch/bed and convince her not to go on with her desires, he fled and left his clothes with Potiphar’s wife. That’s how it should be. We are not as strong as we think. Granted, you may not be a man/woman of the senses, but there may be moments when you become susceptible to all those senses, and those moments may take you by surprise.

I try to remind myself of this every day, and today, I want to remind you too. I know you were raised right, I know you go to church and pray, but all of these things don’t give you leeway to go on playing with fire. When you are in any situation, try to look into the future, and if that situation has danger lurking somewhere far, even if it’s ten years ahead, best to remove yourself from that situation right now!

Finally, we are human, I know. Sometimes these things are easier said than done, but we keep reminding ourselves (at least that’s what I do), and with constant reminders and constant practice, we start learning how to resist temptation not by fighting, but by fleeing.

Bible Verse

Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. -James 4:7 NKJV

Quote 1

You cannot decongest the world of all the bad people, but you can increase the population of good people by being a good person yourself.-Naza

Quote 2

A man is great not because he hasn’t failed; a man is great because failure hasn’t stopped him-Confucius

I wish you a restful and temptation-free weekend!

Till next time,

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

Despite your religious inclinations, as long as you are an adult, chances are you have heard the truism, “there is power in the tongue” before. This particular phrase is so hackneyed that I wonder why anyone would not spend at least a passing thought to consider the truth or possibility of it.

I recently came across a video that made me think about this phrase again over the weekend. Last Thursday, the Catholic Church, one of the foremost religious institutions in the world, selected a new Pope, Leo XIV. Now, over the weekend, I saw an interview with his older brother where he was explaining how shocked he was when he watched the live broadcast last Thursday and saw that his brother had been announced Pope. He then went on to say that right from when they were young, he and his siblings were always teasing him that he was too holy and asking him if he wanted to be the Pope or what, and that he was, in fact, going to be Pope.

Sometimes when I listen to or read the stories of great people, I find a thread in their lives. Other than the fact that most of them believed in themselves and worked hard, I also realise that many did not joke with their confessions. They didn’t say negative things to themselves; they spoke positively, and their words became their reality, even as they worked hard. This is not New Age “manifestation” but more than that. This biblical-tested truth is that in life, you will have what you say, and sometimes, when you spend time with a person and you observe how they speak about themselves and others, it is easy to understand why they are where they are in life, whether good or bad. Your confessions about yourself and others should never be negative. I am deeply surprised by how people don’t understand this and constantly speak badly of themselves and their situations (to be fair, I think I was like this before). Anyways, I can’t say I am truly surprised because it is always the simplest things that people find so hard to do, take for example receiving the free gift of salvation in Christ Jesus, it is so simple but people will rather choose to take on a burden of self-righteousness they can never live up to.

I challenge you from today to start speaking confidently and positively about yourself, others and every situation you find yourself regardless of how difficult it may be. Not only will this affect your worldview immensely, but it will also improve your mind and your life because, at the end of the day, you will have what you say.

Today, say something positive about yourself.

Bible Verse

Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so, the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.- James 3:4-6

Quote 1

“Do not speak bad of yourself. For the warrior within hears your word and is lessened by them”.- Old Japanese Samurai Proverb

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

I don’t know what crossed your mind as you read the topic for today’s letter. Maybe you jumped and said God forbid I will never be broken, I say Amen with you. But now, sit with me, please, as I unpack this whole idea for today’s letter.

Many of us have had bad experiences in life. For some, their experiences may be more painful than others, but the majority of us have had or will have (and this is not a bad prayer) an experience or experiences that will deeply hurt us. For example, you may have suffered betrayal at the hands of someone you love and someone you held so dearly. You may have had family or loved ones plot or skim behind your back to do terrible things to you. You may have tried to be kind to someone, offered a helping hand, only for them to take your helping hand and spit in your face. Whatever you may have suffered, I am truly sorry. I can’t imagine, I don’t understand, and chances are, I never will, even if you spent a whole day explaining to me, because your circumstances and suffering are peculiar to you. However, I would like to state that this is life, terrible things happen, and sometimes we can’t stop terrible things from happening.

I have come to realise that many times, the people who have had bad experiences in this life don’t do a good job moving past them, no matter how much time they have to do so. I would like to paint an image for this letter. Consider yourself to be a glass window, and every bad experience you have puts a crack in you, and this crack only remains when you fail to move on or you hold on tightly to the bad experience you had. How broken do you think you will be? For example, you have had a bad relationship experience at the hands of a person from a particular ethnic group, and so you say, you will never have a relationship with anyone from that area. Or as a lady, you had a female friend who hurt you deeply, and so you close yourself off to having close female friends, and now, you only keep male friends.

If we keep letting our bad experiences define us, we keep letting our bad experiences shape and influence us negatively, then we would be more broken than we would ever like to admit. We must be able to move on wholeheartedly from negative experiences without holding the pains of the past. You will know you are truly whole and not broken if, after the bad experience you have had, you can heal, trust again, love again and try to be the person you were before the hurt. I know it won’t be so easy depending on what you have gone true, but I also know that with God’s help, nothing is impossible.

I also have to add that moving on wholeheartedly does not mean you neglect all the lessons you have learnt from a bad experience. You still have to bear all that in mind, you only have to learn how not to let the past taint your present or future. I will use the relationship example again because I think it is easy to relate to. For example, if you suffered a heartbreak from a person who belonged to a particular race or ethnicity, saying you won’t have dealings with anyone of similar race or ethnicity may be an indication that you have not healed wholeheartedly. However, if from your past relationship you have learnt some of the negative character traits to avoid in a partner, then you definitely should bear that in mind. If it so happens that you find someone of similar race or ethnicity who is displaying some of the character traits that led to the heartbreak you suffered in the past, then you should run away. Running away in this instance will not be because you are avoiding a relationship with some who reminds you of your past hurt, it will be because you have seen the signs of danger and it is necessary for you to protect yourself. This is a balance to bear in mind.

So, whatever your past hurt may have been like, I pray you find the courage to move on wholeheartedly, no matter how hard it may be, so you don’t stay broken forever.

Bible Verse

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. -Gal 6:9 NKJV

Quote 1

If you don’t actively shape the life you desire each day, you’ll eventually wake up to find that years have slipped by unnoticed.- 1frvnk on Twitter (now X)

Quote 2

Don't emotionalise your journey. If you have to do something, do it. If you have to reach out to someone, reach out. If an 18-hour trip is necessary to meet someone critical to your journey, make the trip. If you need to leave certain circles, leave. Don't focus on the emotions; focus on what needs to be done. Don't emotionalise your journey. You will not be young twice.-Source Unknown

I will be seeing you around. Until then, have a restful and reflective weekend!

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

Has someone ever been insanely kind to you? Maybe a stranger or someone you never expected any kindness from? The answer for me is yes. I have received kindness from unexpected people and at unexpected moments. As amazing as the feeling of receiving kindness from unexpected places can be, there is yet an incredible dimension of unexpected kindness we don’t often think deeply about. We often forget about the abundant kindness we have received from God.

Yesterday, while I was doing my devotion, I read a paragraph that completely knocked me out.

The life-changing, earth-shaking, curtain-ripping message of the gospel is that we are helpless to save ourselves from sin, or to clean ourselves up enough to stand before a holy God. Unless the Lord gives us eyes to see it, we cannot even fathom our need for Him. And yet, in love, He turns toward us, not away from us, and makes a way for us to be spared the punishment for our sin.

What grace!

There and then, the realisation struck me that in Christ, we have the zenith of all kindness ever displayed. This kindness is the unfathomable grace of God in salvation. No one has ever in the history of mankind matched the kindness of God, and till the end of time, no one will ever be able to match this kindness.

Today’s love letter calls you and me to think deeply about the ultimate kindness of God, alongside His unfathomable and inexhaustible grace, which is available to you!

Bible Verse

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men- Titus 2:11

Bible Verse 2

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart.-Ecclesiastes 3:11

Quote 1

Love says I’ve seen the ugly parts of you, and I’m staying- Matt Chandler

May your weekend be kind to you, and may the unfathomable grace of God dwell with you.

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

I realize people don’t like to state it when they have been offended, or when they has been an incident that made them unhappy.

Generally, I have observed people don’t like to have those kinds of conversations where both parties are not on the same page or where both parties are contesting different ideas about an issue.

I understand. Discomfort is not something we like to feel. However, it is something we cannot get away from.

I am teaching myself this and I am here to teach you this too with this love letter.

You will disagree with people, at home and at work. Some times it will not be necessary to make a fuss when you do so. Some times, it may not be necessary to bring up an issue about how they spoke to you while you disagreed or what they said. Other times, it may be necessary.

This is where gentle confrontation comes in. Confrontation does not have to be violent. It does not have to be chaotic. It can be civil, nicely done and quietly done, especially where both parties are reasonable.

Gentle confrontation can start with a text where you nudge the other party to the issue you will like to address:

Hi Rose, can I have 5 minutes of your time today please, I will like to discuss something with you.

Gentle confrontation can also be done through text entirely, if the thought of sitting down with your fellow adult to talk through anything greatly upsets you.

Hi Rose, we had a conversation yesterday and I thought to mention that the way you spoke to me could have been more polite. I am happy to receive an apology from you or clarification perhaps, I misread something during the conversation.

Whether you want to follow route 1 or route 2 is up to you. What is important is that where you have been offended and it is weighing on you heavily, it is best to try and get audience with the other party and set things straight gently, especially where reasonable people are involved. It is best to either take route 1 or route 2 as quickly as possible. Don’t keep replaying the scenario that left you a bit sore over and over again, the more you do this, the angrier you may become. So when something has happened and you need to set things straight, do it as quickly as possible. Don’t let days go by because before you know it, you will be holding on to a grudge.

I emphasize the latter because sometimes you will be involved with unreasonable people, people that like to misbehave in their words and conducts. You may need more than gentle confrontation dealing with those kind of people, if it is not possible to ignore all together and move on with your life.

I will like to close by saying that many times in dealing with humans you will have to overlook a lot of things so maybe learn to excuse the excesses of others till you can no longer excuse those excesses.

Bible Verse

Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.- Colossians 3:13-16

Quote 1

Excuse the excesses of others till you can no longer excuse those excesses.

Quote 2

Most people aren't as original as you think they are. They're just reading little-known books, having nuanced conversations, and giving themselves time to think. They are brutally aware that being stuck on their phone and doing busy work all day ruins the quality of your mind.- Dan Koe

Till Next Week Friday. Meanwhile, Tetelestai!

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

Happy Friday to you and yours!

Initially, when the idea for today’s love letter dropped in my mind, I was a bit hesitant. I thought I was going to sound too serious or too perspire to aspire. Subsequently, I thought if God brought this idea into my mind, perhaps someone on my mailing list needs to read this. So here we are. Today, I want to share with you three keys for a better life.

It’s possible to have a better life. When you are young, you should be obsessed with getting better, doing your best and doing all you can positively with your life. The obvious reason for this is because you won’t be young forever. and then chances are that if you don’t make the most out of your life, you will have a life of regrets later on and, that would be terrible. I want a better life. I read a lot of inspirational things, listen to motivational speakers (I am particularly drawn to Jim Rohn in this season) and more than consuming when I learn I like to do and next, I love to share.

First Key: Clean Your Room

While I was in university, this inspirational speech If You Want to Change the World, Start Off by Making Your Bed-William McRaven, US Navy Admiral went viral. Later on in life, I heard people (like Jordan Peterson) talk about the idea that William McRaven shared in this video in varying ways. The idea I am referring to here is the idea that you need a clean and tidy space to function well as a human being. So the very first key to having a better life is cleaning your room. Take care of your immediate environment. In my case, I have to confess that most times it is not always easy for me to clean my whole house. I have a 9-5 and some other things I am chasing, and then on the weekend, I have some things to do for myself, but my room? My room is always clean. It is like my sanctuary so I keep it tidy to the uttermost. You should do the same too. Cleanliness is next to Godliness (you have heard it before and it is true). If you live in a big house and sometimes it is difficult to clean everywhere or you don’t even want to clean the whole house because people you live with can make a mess and frustrate your efforts, then clean your room. When you have a clean immediate environment, it helps you think well, it improves your mood and your overall sense of responsibility. So it is non-negotiable to clean your room as often as it takes to keep it sparkling. Again I say, clean your room!

Believe you Can

I am reading a good book this month titled “The Rules of Wealth by Richard Templar”. It is a good book and I am thoroughly enjoying it so far. Before beginning this book (which is obviously about wealth), one thing the author did was try to change the mind conditioning of his reader. It was while reading this book that I realized again how important our mind is in this journey of life. One way to have a better life is to believe you can. This applies to whatever it is you want to do no matter how lofty your goal may be. Just go through life believing you can do the things you set out to do and somehow you will end up doing them and even more. Don’t second guess yourself and you will always be better off. Again I say, believe you can.

Don’t Put Yourself in a Box

One thing human beings are good at is putting labels on things. When we create things and put labels on them it is a good idea for the sake of clarity, but when we put labels on ourselves and even other people, it is terrible. Labels are restrictive, and keep you boxed in. Many people never step out and try as many things as they can because of the labels that they have taken on. Sometime last year, I wanted to start a business but I remember thinking to myself, I can’t do this because I am this _____ what will people say? Now, my business idea was a good one, nothing bad about it (because of course you won’t find me amid anything bad) but yet I was letting a label hold me back. Don’t do this. Whatever your label, don’t let anything put you in a box. Don’t think, Oh I am a lawyer so I can’t make dresses if I like, or Oh I am a doctor so I can’t cook and deliver food for additional income if I like. Don’t. Whatever you want to do, do it (as long as it is good and legal). You won’t be here forever so don’t put yourself in a box. Diversify. Again I say, Don’t put yourself in a box.

I hope this mail was a timely one for you, if not, I hope you have enjoyed reading thus far. Have a great weekend!

Bible Verse

So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom. Return, O LORD! How long? And have compassion on Your servants. Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy, That we may rejoice and be glad all our days! - Psalm 90:12

Quote 1

You don’t drop your standards to match the world. You raise them to shape the world- Jim Rohn

Quote 2

The enemy of your better tomorrow is your comfort zone.

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

Happy Friday to you and yours!

When you sit with accomplished, wise people, mentors or senior colleagues, there is some recurrence in the wisdom they share with you if you are young. Chances are you may hear about delaying gratification and why it is important to you as a young person. I have received this advice too in career, and in investing and I am here writing about it because maybe many young people don’t get the full picture yet. Delaying gratification is what makes the difference between the start-up that fails and the other which goes on to become a Fortune 500 company. It is also the difference between that professional who arrives at the peak of her career and the one who remains at the bottom of the food chain.

Delaying Gratification simply means putting away some of the pleasures that allure you today for the sake of a better tomorrow. More than any definition, the picture of delaying gratification is best painted on our minds with illustrations, so I will present a few. Delaying gratification is when you earn a decent salary as a young person, you have many things that you desire but you take the pain to set aside a significant portion to save and invest for your future. It is when you know you have a call on your life and you set out a given period to seek God in prayer and fasting, and even wake up on most nights to pray. You do all this so you can arrive at your destiny equipped with all God desires for you in that season. With delaying gratification, you can have a glass of soda to quench your thirst now or have a glass of champagne to quench your thirst later. Simply, you can suffer now and enjoy later, or you can enjoy now and suffer later.

With delaying gratification, you can have a glass of soda to quench your thirst now or have a glass of champagne to quench your thirst later.

Understanding why it is important to choose delayed gratification as opposed to instant gratification is life-changing because almost every day you will make a decision that will require you to choose between the two. For example, many tech startups wound up after a short period because their mostly young founders mismanaged funds they immediately received from funding rounds for their tech startups on the altar of satisfying all their cravings and pleasures. It is worse for young people because there can be this pressure to keep up with trends, everyone is doing things that cost a lot of money and you want to feel among them. But the point of this love letter is to change your cognitive pathway as it relates to the present pleasures that pull at you. I want you to realize for the majority of your young adulthood (because I feel there are a lot of young people reading this) you will need to put off many of the pleasures you desire for later because now is not the best time, and that is okay. There is a story I heard about someone who once bought a box of pizza for 10,000 bitcoin, that’s about 1 billion dollars today. Maybe the person who did that was very rich, but I can’t help but imagine what his fortune would have been like if he chose to invest that 10,000 bitcoin or even not spent it all at once.

At the end of the day, we can all do a better job at delaying some of our pleasures. If you and I learn how to better delay the satisfaction of some of our pleasures, our future self we thank us for it.

Bible Verse

But wisdom is profitable to direct.-Ecclesiates 10:10 NKJV

Quote 1

A lot of times discipline is pushing yourself to do something you don’t want to do.- Daily Stoic Newsletter

Quote 2

The point is, I can’t tell you how to succeed. But I can tell you how not to: Give in to the shame of being rejected and put your manuscript-or painting, song, voice, dance moves, (insert passion here)- in the coffin that is your bed-side drawer and close it for good. I guarantee you that it won’t take you anywhere. Or you could do what this writer did: Give in to your obsession instead.- Katherine Stockett

I will be writing to you next Friday or the next, God willing.

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku.

How are you doing this morning? I hope you are well, safe and joyful.

When we think about the enemy, the devil, we might think of cartoons and someone with horns, but that’s not necessarily the case. I have come to understand that one of the primary ways the devil shows up in our lives is through anger. Anger is terrible, and it is one emotion that has absolutely no benefit. I thought deeply about this because this evening while working out, I saw two people fighting seriously and from the look of things, those two individuals were bent on killing each other. No doubt, the uncontrolled anger of both parties led them to that situation.

Think back on your life, and every time you acted out of anger, you said something or you did something. Were you proud of yourself afterwards? I guess that you weren’t. I read a quote somewhere that said that when you look into boiling water, it is not possible to see your reflection clearly and it is the same way you can’t think clearly to act when you are angry. I have someone very dear to my heart who will never speak when he is angry. At first, I used to get annoyed because I am the type of person who when something happens I like to talk about it immediately even if parties are angry. He will never do that, he will take his time to cool off and then come back to discuss. In hindsight, I see much wisdom in his decision to act in this way. I have adopted this or I am making conscious efforts to adopt it, and I recommend the same for you.

Finally, whenever I want to get angry, I remember the Bible and how it says anger dwells in the bosom of fools. So I tell myself if you are a fool, proceed, if not, retreat. It works so much for me, and today I would like to recommend this to you. Please let’s try to do away with anger, it never enriches our lives. It is also capable of doing us more harm than good. Our lives are much better without anger, lest we give the enemy a foothold to wreak havoc in our lives through this terrible emotion.

Bible Verse

Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools.

Quote 1

You have got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was- Irish Proverb

Quote 2

The problems of this world have been caused by the weakness of goodness rather than by the strength of evil.

Till I write next stay reigning in your anger.

With Utmost Love and Care,

Naza.

I have a joke for you. I am excited because it just literally came into my mind right now. It is a knock-knock joke, so here we go.

Knock Knock…Who is there? Pararan…Odogwu Pararan…

Do you get it? Well, if you don’t get it, forget about it. Or check Social Media. Now, let’s get into our love letter, shall we?

This month, I got served two breakfasts from two opportunities I put myself out for but didn’t get. At first, I was shattered. I really wanted the first one. I had even rehearsed how I would share my testimony and thank everyone who helped me on my status. But I didn’t get it. I was sad, and I cried a bit, but then I moved on. Initially, I told myself I am not doing again. I am not going to put myself out there and risk getting served another breakfast. After a while, by the grace and mercies of God, I saw how that was a silly thing to decide, and that is why I am writing this love letter to you today.

In life, you will be served many breakfasts for the things you put yourself out for, but be of good cheer; your victory is around the corner. No matter what happens, keep trying. Worst case scenario? You get rejected. You fail. You learn. Best case scenario? You win. Life is a game of numbers at the end of the day. If you try to hit a target 100 times, you may not hit it within the 1-10 attempts, but chances are you won’t go all the way to a hundred without eventually hitting it. Eventually, something has to give. At that point, it’s not even luck anymore; it is more of persistence and consistency and all the rest. This is not aspire to maguire, it is just fact. So now you know failure isn’t personal; it is not your village people or something else? Now that you know it is just life, will you start trying to hit some targets?

Oh, don’t get me wrong, though; this life is spiritual. Sometimes, there are things you have to address with your Father in Heaven if you truly sense that in your Spirit. But make sure before you do that, you have applied yourself with wisdom and that you have been a diligent workman.

Quote 1

Don’t Personalize Failure.-Vusi Thembekwavo.

Quote 2

Too many people seem to know how to live everybody’s life but their own. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others.-John L. Mason

Bible Verse

And he moved from there and dug another well, and they did not quarrel over it. So he called its name Rehoboth, because he said, “For now the LORD has made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.”- Genesis 26:22 NKJV

I hope this met you right where you are.

Till next Friday,

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

I think one of the greatest tragedies in our lives would be that we may go to our graves with layers of ourselves uncovered.

That we may stand before God and He will look at us, and call us His beloved, and tell us immediately afterwards that we didn’t scratch the surface of all we could be.

It is easy to spend so much time looking without. We are looking up to our mentors, and we are listening to everything but ourselves. We are missing our rhythms, and we cannot hear all the answers we are looking for outside calling out to us from within.

Over the last month, I came to realize that if we spent our lives looking within ourselves, fixing the things that may be broken, pouring light into our dark places and just basically paying attention to ourselves, we wouldn’t have time for a lot of the things we have time for. If I am so focused on trying to understand why I feel strongly for all the things I feel strongly about and why I don’t care about all the million things I don’t care about, I would have less time to focus on many things. If I am paying attention to my thoughts, trying to ensure that the things I think upon are the things that are pure, right, true and worthy, then I wouldn’t have time to think about what other people are thinking.

The truth is that we don’t know ourselves as much as we think we do. Sometimes, think of yourself as a stranger and sit with yourself and dig deep to find out what lies within you, good or bad. So, situations don’t come upon you, and you find yourself wondering what version of you could do the things you did, especially when they were things you were not proud of. I know it has happened to me sometimes. I acted in the spur of the moment, and afterwards, I wondered who was that who acted in the previous moment.

We are buried under many layers. We are born, but through socialization and everything else we experience, we emerge as individuals. Socialization is not bad, it’s just that at the end of the day, we may find that socialization- the process of integrating into society has buried us under many ideas. We have simply been made a being that is moving in consonance to a rhythm that is not ours.

Nowadays, when I work out in the Evenings, I don’t go out with any music. Before, I would go with a sermon or a podcast or something to fill the void. Recently, I prefer to listen to myself. I try to carry out my self-excavating by listening to all the thoughts spiralling in my head. I take out the bad ones and then let the good ones flourish. This is how I have begun my journey towards excavating self.

Quote 1

To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle- George Orwell

Quote 2

The lesson which life repeats and constantly reinforces is, Look under foot: You are always nearer than you think..The great opportunity is where you are. Do not despise your own place and hour.- John Burrough

Bible Verse

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Pslam 139:23-24

Till next Friday, keep self excavating.

Happy Friday! Shall we sit and get into today’s love letter? Ready… Set… Read…

If you have lived long enough, whether you are a teenager in university or a young adult navigating adulthood, you may have had to close some chapters in your life—some intentionally and others unintentionally. It can be a hard pill to swallow. So, today I want to talk about the end of friendships, how to spot it, and then how to move on with grace. My Pastor would always say, “You may not need this, but one day you will, or you know someone who does”.

First things first, it is normal for people to end their interactions with you. Also, because it ends, even if it ends badly, does not mean you cannot be civil with your former friends. At the very least, people you have had friendships with that ended, deserve your civility. Just the same way you would not be rude to the cashier in the banking hall or the security, (since by God’s grace, we all have manners) you should never be rude to your former friends, and people in general. So a good place for me to start is to start by emphasizing courteousness.

When it Ends…

As I said earlier, it can be a hard pill to swallow when your friendships end, but there is absolutely no benefit in staying in an unpleasant situation, in this case a relationship. Unless you are Prophet Hosea, and God has given you a prophetic instruction to stay put and we know that is not the case. So, the first thing I will say is when your friendship ends, you will know by how they start to treat you. People may lie to you but guess what is a good revealer of people’s true intentions? Their actions towards you. Pay attention to how their disposition towards you becomes. Of course, people can be stressed and life happens, so your friends will not constantly be all sunshine and rainbows towards you every day, but the persistence of ill-treatment and lack of care is something to watch out for.

How to Deal…

I am the last person you will come to for advice for a bad friendship situation, and I will tell you to cut loose immediately. It is terrible to make assumptions and to jump to conclusions and so, the first thing I will always say is to talk to the party involved. If you have had a good friendship with someone and they start pulling away, this is my first advice always. There are a multitude of things that can make them act differently, and just as the cliche breakup line goes maybe it’s not you, it’s them. Your friend could be carrying the weight of the world on their soldier and you may not be aware so it’s affecting everything, their availability, their joy and making them a shadow of themselves generally. So, you will need to get around asking them questions and having that uncomfortable conversation with them about why they have been acting differently towards you. It may be a conversation you have more than once because you want to give them enough latitude to come out of their shell if need be.

How to move on in Grace…

Just like how often, business people resort to alternative dispute resolution (that is trying to solve your issues with the help of a third party and without litigation) before resorting to litigation, there comes a time when after you have tried severally to fix the situation, you have to decide to forge on without them. Your life doesn't revolve around a human being so if someone has made it abundantly clear that they won’t accommodate you in their life, shake off the dust of your feet, wish them well from the depths of your heart, and keep moving. I know it is easier said than done because people talk about relationships heart breaks but oftentimes, friendship heart breaks are just as worse. However, when you come to the end of the road, you must be sure you are not leaving with any baggage. Baggage here refers to unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, or pain, and so this is why healing is so important. If there is a way you can allow yourself to vent and cry over spilt milk (contrary to what is usually advised) please do so. Time can heal too but prioritize praying to God for healing and also asking your good friends for help. I know it could be tough.

After you have done this, you will be able to move on with grace. Moving on with grace means leaving without baggage, you may close the chapter but as I said earlier, you remain courteous towards them, and also you bear no ill in your heart. My Pastor on Wednesday taught us that one way to test if you have forgiven is to ask yourself if you can pray for them, if you can’t, then it is very likely you have not forgiven.

The ones that fell by the wayside…

Sometimes, you will lose friendships because you guys moved on to different phases and the truth is the majority of the people we meet in our lives would be seasonal. However, I am the type of person that understands that because we stopped talking or moved on, doesn’t give room for any form of hostility. So for friendships that ended due to the passage of time, unintentionally, you can learn how to pick up where you left things when the need arises. I don’t think you will have to close the chapter, maybe understand the dynamics of those kinds of friendships better. However, if there are genuine friendships, not seasonal ones, that fell by the wayside maybe unintentionally due to lack of communication or silence. No hurt. Then the best thing to do is to break the ice and see what can be salvaged.

We draw the curtains on today’s love letter here. I hope this love letter found you well, and I am sure it has been worth your time. I will like to close by reminding you that in case you have lost friendships, God is able to restore what was lost. He can give you the right people, your people, tailored fit for your life and destiny. I pray these kinds of people locate you in this season and beyond.

Bible Verse

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.- Provers 18:24

Quote 1

It is better to reach your destination by 9am, than to reach hospital by 8am- A Quote from Movie, Last to Marry.

Quote 2

Sisterhood when practiced in truth, is the most beautiful gift a woman could ever receive. A girl needs her sisters- Anonymous.

Till next Friday,

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku

Who cares About Valentine when I have you!

I hope your day is off to a great start. Just in case it isn’t, I hope you are better off by the time you are done reading this than when you started.

On a day like this, I simply want to remind you of how easy it is to let the noise from everywhere sip into your mind. Everyone is talking about romantic love, and if you are not in the season of your life where you are experiencing it, you may feel left out and be tempted to sulk and feel bad for yourself. Your feelings are valid, but I want you to remember that slowing down is still very important.

Good things take time, so there is no point rushing into anything, especially a romantic relationship. When it is time, the good Lord will make it happen and it would be so beautiful. I believe this concerning every area of my life, and on the days I forget, I pray to God to remind me. Don’t rush into anything to be part of a celebration that goes by after 24 hours. If it hasn’t happened yet, maybe it is because it is not yet time.

I want to also add that even though we weirdly emphasize love these days, romantic love is not the pinnacle of love. Love can be seen in romantic love no doubt, but if you plan to show love only to your lover, you have missed it. Romanticize your life. Love up on those who mean something to you. While we are doing all this, also remember the love that flows from us to our Lord. In the same way love is important to you, Love is important to Abba, who is infinitely worthy of all our love and devotion. GOD IS LOVE.

Bible Verse

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases. Songs of Solomon 8:4.

Quote 1

Worrying about the future is suffering doubly. If the future has heartache, let us deal with it then. But only then, and not even a second before. No need to suffer twice when you can do it once. As for today, let us stay in the good it has brought. We may not have it tomorrow but we have it today. Let us stay here, today. -Ebele Light

Till Next Friday,

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku.

Since the beginning of this year, I have been trying to regain my writing flow. Nothing happened to knock me out of it, but if I am being honest, I have not felt like myself. I feel like this particular love letter is about to change that.

Gradually, everything is sitting right where it is meant to, and I am back here, writing to you, exactly where I belong.

I am learning slowly but surely that life is so out of my control. I know it’s an obvious thing and shouldn’t be a wonderful discovery, but I feel like many of us live life thinking “WE GOT THIS”. You planned your day, and how many tasks you wanted to achieve at the close of business. But you don’t realize that when you decide to have jollof rice for lunch, your digestion is out of your control and so, today may be the day the tomato sauce they used to colour the rice doesn’t sit well with your system. So, you are in and out of the bathroom and your productivity is slashed by half. There goes your plan to tick off everything on your to-do list.

Many examples could paint a clearer picture but I settled for the first one that came to mind. Essentially, as you go through life, choose to become familiar with what I now call the vicissitudes of life. This means the unexpected twists that come to your day, which may mostly be unpleasant, but maybe you are lucky often, and so you get pleasant ones too. Make friends with them, and welcome them with an open arm, that way when they show up it’s easy for you to deal with them, not throw a fit, and then continue moving forward.

Oftentimes, we love to be in charge. We love to control our lives, but our little friends, the vicissitudes of life come along once in a while to knock us off our high horse. Whether it’s a flat tyre on a day you are running late, or it’s a wardrobe malfunction just before you have an interview, sooner or later we would be faced with these little intrusions I refer to as the vicissitudes of life.

Bible Verse

There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the LORD’s counsel—that will stand- Proverbs 19:21 NKJV

Quote 1

Sometimes life gives you unrippe oranges but you rnf up thinking they’re lemons, patience, people, patience.- Anonymous

Quote 2

There are always plenty rivals to our work. We are always falling in love or quarrelling, looking for jobs or fearing to lose them, getting ill and recovering, following public affairs. If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavourable. Favourable conditions never come.- Excerpt from a good book.

Till Next Friday,

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku