Gentle Confrontation

Because there are things worse than swallowing your piece all in the name of keeping peace.

Thank you for showing up today, and sharing a few moments of your day here by reading this letter today.

I realize people don’t like to state it when they have been offended, or when they has been an incident that made them unhappy.

Generally, I have observed people don’t like to have those kinds of conversations where both parties are not on the same page or where both parties are contesting different ideas about an issue.

I understand. Discomfort is not something we like to feel. However, it is something we cannot get away from.

I am teaching myself this and I am here to teach you this too with this love letter.

You will disagree with people, at home and at work. Some times it will not be necessary to make a fuss when you do so. Some times, it may not be necessary to bring up an issue about how they spoke to you while you disagreed or what they said. Other times, it may be necessary.

This is where gentle confrontation comes in. Confrontation does not have to be violent. It does not have to be chaotic. It can be civil, nicely done and quietly done, especially where both parties are reasonable.

Gentle confrontation can start with a text where you nudge the other party to the issue you will like to address:

Hi Rose, can I have 5 minutes of your time today please, I will like to discuss something with you.

Gentle confrontation can also be done through text entirely, if the thought of sitting down with your fellow adult to talk through anything greatly upsets you.

Hi Rose, we had a conversation yesterday and I thought to mention that the way you spoke to me could have been more polite. I am happy to receive an apology from you or clarification perhaps, I misread something during the conversation.

Whether you want to follow route 1 or route 2 is up to you. What is important is that where you have been offended and it is weighing on you heavily, it is best to try and get audience with the other party and set things straight gently, especially where reasonable people are involved. It is best to either take route 1 or route 2 as quickly as possible. Don’t keep replaying the scenario that left you a bit sore over and over again, the more you do this, the angrier you may become. So when something has happened and you need to set things straight, do it as quickly as possible. Don’t let days go by because before you know it, you will be holding on to a grudge.

I emphasize the latter because sometimes you will be involved with unreasonable people, people that like to misbehave in their words and conducts. You may need more than gentle confrontation dealing with those kind of people, if it is not possible to ignore all together and move on with your life.

I will like to close by saying that many times in dealing with humans you will have to overlook a lot of things so maybe learn to excuse the excesses of others till you can no longer excuse those excesses.

Bible Verse

Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.- Colossians 3:13-16

Quote 1

Excuse the excesses of others till you can no longer excuse those excesses.

Quote 2

Most people aren't as original as you think they are. They're just reading little-known books, having nuanced conversations, and giving themselves time to think. They are brutally aware that being stuck on their phone and doing busy work all day ruins the quality of your mind.- Dan Koe

Till Next Week Friday. Meanwhile, Tetelestai!

With Utmost Love and Care,

Chukwunazaoku